The Glucose song

This is the funniest nerd song I've ever come across! Sung to the tune of "Sugar, Honey, honey" performed by The Archies and parodied by Greg Crowther.




Glucose -- ah, sugar sugar --
You are my favorite fuel
From the blood-borne substrate pool.
Glucose -- monosaccharide sugar --
You're sweeter than a woman's kiss
'Cause I need you for glycolysis.

I just can't believe the way my muscles take you in.
(For you, they'll open the door.)
All it takes is a little bit of insulin
(To upregulate GLUT4).

Ah, glucose -- ah, sugar sugar --
You help me make ATP
When my predators are chasing me.
Ah, glucose -- you're an aldehyde sugar,
And you're sweeter than a woman's kiss
'Cause I need you for glycolysis.

I just can't believe the way my muscles break you down.
(My glycogen is almost gone.)
A few more seconds and I'll be rigor mortis-bound.
(Acidosis done me wrong.)

Your sweet is turning sour, baby.
I'm losing all my power, baby.
I'm gonna make your muscles ache.
No, no, no!
I'm swimming in lactate, baby.
Yes, I'm swimming in lactate, baby.
Now I'm drowning in lactate, baby.
I'm gonna make your muscles ache.
No, no, no!
I'm drowning in lactate, baby.

Ah, glucose -- ah, sugar sugar --
I used you up and you left me flat;
Now I'll have to get my kicks from fat.
Oh, glucose, glucose, sugar, sugar,
The honeymoon is over now.

Jargons demystified:

• ATP - adenosine triphosphate, the "money" of energy inside all of you cells
• GLUT4 - glucose transporter type 4. The transporter protein that carries glucose across cell surface membranes. This variant of glucose transporter is found in muscles, its number is increased by the presence of insulin
• glycolysis - the stepwise breakdown of sugar (glucose/fructose/galactose) in cellular respiration
• aldehyde - organic compounds containing a terminal -CHO group in its molecular structure.
• rigor mortis - muscle stiffness after death. This property is important in the meat industry and forensics.